A policeman visited Gabby’s school today. She told us that he drove a squad car and turned on the sirens. As she continued to describe things, she excitedly added that he also showed them his badge and handcuffs. Then she concluded her story by telling us that he even showed them his gun, “but he didn’t shoot us” she reassured. I guess that adds a new perspective to the good cop bad cop thing.

So I thought I would attempt to be a good daddy/husband/son-in-law by taking care of breakfast Sunday morning. If you know me, then you know I have a tendency to turn easy tasks into the most intricate of tasks – picking up yogurt and doughnuts not withstanding. I claim to be a fairly lucky guy, especially if you account for the bad variety. You would think such an errand would take roughly 15-20 minutes (we live within 2 miles of a Kroger) at 9am on a Sunday morning, even on Mother’s Day. WELL…going to Kroger and picking up yogurt was the easy part; finding doughnuts was an entirely different adventure.

There were some at this particular Kroger location, the one just down the street from our house (you can probably tell where this is going), but not quite the assortment I needed (I had a few requests for specific types of doughnuts – glazed with filling and cinnamon sugar seemed easy enough to locate and should have been…should have been). So, I thought that I could try another Kroger that was still relatively close (probably 4 miles away). This turned out to be a bad idea. They had a handful of doughnuts, but all had icing and sprinkles on top. My first thought was they were likely left over from Easter. Nothing says Happy Mother’s Day like stale doughnuts from Easter. Who buys doughnuts on Easter? No one. That’s why these were holdovers. Who buys doughnuts on Mother’s Day? Shmucks like me who attempt to get out of cooking. Apparently, there was not a shortage of Shmucks in our area Sunday morning.

If you’re still following along, I’m at my second stop. Now I have a decision to make. I could keep going to Kroger locations on the near northeast side or I could abort that great plan and find the closest Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts. After the great success I had up to that point, you would think I would use my Blackberry and locate one of these. That’s what I should have done. INSTEAD, I THOUGHT I remembered seeing a Krispy Kreme in Noblesville once. I know with 100% certainty where the closest Krispy Kreme and Dunkin Donuts are located, but I really didn’t think it made sense to drive to Carmel. Noblesville seemed to be the better option and if the crack pipe had clouded my judgment, I reasoned that Meijer and two Marsh locations were in close proximity to where I was going.

Still with me? There was no Krispy Kreme in Noblesville, at least where I thought. And the first scary Marsh didn’t even have fresh doughnuts out – just a few boxes of cake doughnuts only. At this point, I asked if there was even a doughnut shop in Noblesville and I was directed to the other Marsh location, of course. An hour later and at least two phone calls later from Emily, I arrived at the other Marsh location. They had some fresh doughnuts (about as much as the first Kroger location) as well as a box of doughnut holes, so I ended up finally buying doughnuts there.

Long story short, I successfully returned with yogurt and doughnuts – just an hour and a half after I started this mission. Uggh….

Hope all the moms reading this are laughing their asses off right now (not saying there is anything wrong with your ass or that I was even looking). Happy Mother’s Day!

By the way, the first Friday of every June (June 5 this year) is National Doughnut Day. I suggest you go directly to Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts.

You can probably tell where this posting is headed. Last night, Gabby slid herself off the couch (which normally isn’t a problem for her). This time, though, a couple of her wind up cars were beneath her and she landed directly on top of them. She cried for a couple of seconds and then said it – d@mnit. Plainly, clearly, and in context. We looked at each other in some disbelief that Gabby had just said what we both thought and knew she had said. Then, she confirmed it by repeating it. We also tried to surpress the outburst of laughing and snorting that ensued. Daddy tried, but failed to keep his composure when the last time was followed by Gabby pointing at the freckle on her leg and telling us what it was. Note: Gabby’s not hooked on phonics yet, so the vowel sound in freckle is /ah/ with more of an /er/ at the end. In combination, definitely something your 20-month-old daughter probably shouldn’t be saying. Needless to say, we covered the freckle with pajamas and blamed the d@mn dog.

I’ve often thought Gabby could make it in “the biz” for some kid-related product. Although the hasn’t signed with an agent, she did perform well in a recent shoot. See what you think…even if it was for her daddy’s company!

So the past week’s highlight was Gabby going four hours between feedings – twice. Unfortunately, that hasn’t become the norm. Instead, she is still getting hungry every hour and a half or two hours. Even at night, this has been the routine. And since Mommy is the one Gabby depends on for these late night cravings, she is the most sleep deprived. I know she tries to catch up during the day, but Jack and Gabby have others ideas and often prevent this from taking place. When she does have a sleeping opportunity, it usually involves all three. Such was the case when I arrived home from work. I was able to catch Mommy and Gabby snoozing, it appears, after a feeding.

I think it goes without saying – Gabby is a natural when it comes to pictures. She was quite a trooper as Mommy and Daddy both took various pictures of her in her little Halloween outfit. She won’t be venturing out for treak-or-treating this year, but she can at least look cute while we hand out candy to those that do.

It’s a good thing I bought the candy this year – I made sure I bought more than would be handed out, thus ensuring there would be leftovers. And since Gabby won’t be eating candy either that ensures there will be plenty-o-candy for Daddy! For a minute, I thought this was going to be all about me. Since it’s not, I thought I would include a couple more pictures we took today of Gabby in her Halloween outfit. Isn’t she adorable? Do I even need to ask…

(you can click on the images to enlarge)

Gabby’s Great Aunt Sharon and Uncle Rich were weekend visitors at Papaw and SuSu’s house. We had made arrangements for dinner as well as some time for everyone to see and hold Gabby. We had fun catching everyone up on Gabby’s progress this past week, particularly her frequent eating sessions and facial expressions now that she’s more aware of her surroundings. And we didn’t even have to talk that much about either – Gabby needed nurishment right when we arrived and her expressions were tested after dinner. We also celebrated Aunt Sharon’s birthday (albeit a week belated) as well as Gabby’s one month milestone with cake and ice cream. I suppose you might say Gabby’s celebration was just icing on the cake… wha wha wha.

I have added a few new postings. Please make sure you go back as far as last Friday (10/20) to catch up. Particularly, the highlighted posting of our trip to the Worthington’s (Moo Goo Kong Poo) posted on 10/21 and the Baby Einstein videos from Thursday (10/26) are must reads.

Today was a day of hunger. Correction. The last few days have been about hunger. Gabby doesn’t even make the two hour mark before she’s wanting more food. Eat, eat, eat. And when you eat that much…that’s right, lots of diapers. I must have missed this part in the Daddy’s Secret Handbook – A Guide to All Things Babies? She’s roughly 11 lbs now and is growing by the day or hour more likely. A “growth spurt” you say. At this rate, Gabby will be shaving her legs and driving the Jeep this time next year. You think that’s funny? Have you seen me in action after one of her downloads? Now that’s funny. Mommy might argue otherwise, especially out of fear that Gabby’s first words will either be “Ah Crap” or “Holy Crap.” What’s wrong with that? Gabby has this phase where she’s a constant eater and Daddy has “this phase” where he’s a potty mouth. But don’t worry, everything I learned about fatherhood I learned from Frank Barone…