The Terrible Twos
(Random photo of Gabby and Moira playing on the "sit n' spin" together at Christmas)Yes, we've all heard the phrase "terrible twos." Frankly, I believe little, sweet Gabrielle began her terrible twos at 18 months of age. I hope this is no indication that she will be ready to drive at age 15 and drink at 20 (even though maybe her mother had a few margaritas before she was truly of legal age...gasp...mom stop reading now and Gabby if you are reading this in the future - do not get any ideas). Somehow our house has become somewhat of a war zone. As long as you are an ally of Gabby's, you are all good. Really, deep down our daughter is SOOO sweet and has a great sense of humor. Today at Wal-Mart while I was busily searching for a gift, Gabrielle said to me, "Mom, I'm being so patient! I'm being so patient!" It's amazing how much she remembers and hears when I think she isn't listening.
Listening. That's a whole other story. I really look back on my years of not cleaning my bedroom or the bathroom when my mom asked, not putting away my laundry, and other various "non-listening" things I did as a kid (okay, as a teenager) and feel bad for not being more courteous. I also look back and realize how completely cool my parents were for not getting on me that much about having a clean room or putting my laundry away. Sure, they nagged about some things, but I guess they chose the "pick your battles" methodology. I think I am really going to have to take that mindset on to get through not only this stage, but this week alone (without pulling out the margarita mix and having a good ol' time)!
The truth of it is - we have a very strong-willed, independant child. I know these are actually very positive traits, but in a 2-year-old, they often manifest themselves as nasty, mouthy, screamy, yelly, stubborn -y (I felt the need to continue the words ending in "y"), and anything else that isn't pleasant. I LOVE my daughter. I LOVE my daughter. She is seriously one of the most "with it" 2-year-olds I have ever seen. Her vocabulary is astounding and she just "gets" things without having to be taught. She may just grow up to be a teacher, although Kelly is convinced that she might be in the medical field considering her love of playing "doctor."
Whatever it is, I know that this phase will pass and she will grow up to be such a wonderfully sweet and lovely little girl (at least I keep telling myself this, right?). We have days when I put her down for her nap and just say, "This morning was fun. We had fun!" On other days, I am wildly searching for any small closet in which I can hide and hope she doesn't find me (okay, not really, but there are moments when that sounds tempting, especially if there is chocolate stashed in the closet, too). I know someday Gabrielle will be a superb older sister. She is gentle and calming with babies. Today she tried to get her younger friend Clare to stop crying by playing "peek-a-boo" with her. Then she told Clare, "Don't cry. Your mommy's right in here (pointed to bathroom)." I think it is pretty good that a 2-year-old can attempt to quell the fears of a 17-month-old.
So yes, I am ready for the terrible twos to go away, but am trying hard not to get caught up in the negative moments and cherish the special ones that give me a glimpse of my Miss Independant shining through. Oh, and say a few prayers that they will not change the legal driving age to 15 or we are in serious trouble.
posted by Emily at 10:41 PM
5 Comments:
Phew! Thank goodness that Gabby didn't blow my cover to Clare, and told her I was in the "bathroom" versus the closet hiding with you! Haha!
You know I think Gabby is so adorably sweet, and I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about when you talk about this strong-willed child (are you secretly blogging about Grace?). Seriously, when Gabby is around she is so sweet, and as you said she did calm Clare- or at least attempt to calm her. Poor Clare was out-of-sorts today! Gabby is one sharp cookie, not to mention a cutie as well!
I know that you are one of the lucky ones who witness Grace's not-so-nice side, but she has really grown out of her strong-willedness (is that a word?). She has her moments still, esp. when she is tired- or with friends close to her age, but from day-to-day she is more worried about making me happy (as evidenced by when she will say to me, "You're happy Mommy? Don't be sad!" when she knows she has been less-than-perfect). :)
I'm telling you this since Grace is 6 months older, hopefully in the next few months you will see Gabby grow out of this "alleged" strong-willedness as well. It's not to say she WON'T have moments, but hopefully overall she will be better with you. AND I'm a firm believer that kids act so, so differently for their parents- especially their mothers (or fathers if they are around them more).
One more thing- next time we get together, let's just forget the toys and pull out the doctor kit and let the kids have at it. I seriously think that would entertain those two for hours!!!
You are right, this too shall pass. I remember telling my neighbor when Ella was two, that this stage is so tough. She looked at me and said, "oh, wait until the 3s." What comfort, right? With Ella, though, that was very true. Many of her 2 year old issues happened when she was tired. Her 3s though...OH MY!
Laney though, like Gabby, is experiencing the terrible 2s. Those two girls have many of the same tendencies, hence why they will probably butt heads as they get older :) But since their twos are not so easy, maybe the girls will give us a good 3-year old stage!
Gabby is such a smart little lady! How adorable that she comforted Clare...that is precious.
Stay warm with your strong willed, independent future doctor!
I love this post. :) You are doing such a great job! The not listening (or pretending not to, actually since they say things to make us know their ears really do function properly) is so trying.
I actually ordered a book called Setting Limits for the Strong-willed Child. I'll let you know if it is worth a peek!
My stomach is tied in so many knots right now after a "wonderful" day with my own special strong willed two year old. I'm feeling like skipping the chocolate and the closet and hopping on a plane to anywhere but here. Knots I tell you. Knots. This job is really really hard.
Wow--If I would've had a blog when Reese was Gabby's age, you would've seen a very similar post! Everyone tried to make me feel better by saying that strong-willed children grow up to resist peer pressure when they're in their teenage years. But at that moment, I was wondering if either one of us would make it that long!
It was so hard as Reese's started developing right when Ryan was born, and she daily zapped what energy I had left. I was just telling someone the other day that it seemed she lived in time out when she was 2. I read so many books and tried to implement so many plans to change her behavior. It was exhausting!
However, to give you some hope: I survived! Although Reese is not perfect, she has turned into such a wonderful little preschooler. I can count on one hand the number of time-outs she's had in the past year. She used to challenge me when I would threaten her with time-out or some kind of punishment, and now she will listen. She has even gotten to the point lately where she will go off by herself if she realizes she's done something wrong. She also hates to disappoint us or make us sad, whereas before I think she could've cared less.
So hang in there--it really does get better!
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