Scary Noises from a Stall Nearby

I really shouldn't blog about this because it is a story that involves body noises, but it was just too funny and I decided I had to. So, for those of you who are easily offended, you might want to stop reading right now.

On Sunday night, Kenton, Gabby and I went to Macaroni Grill for dinner. We hadn't been out in awhile and I needed to go to the grocery, so a restaurant trip sounded superb. We have been working on potty-training Gabby for the past few weeks and she has been doing quite well. That night we decided we would leave her in her panties for our trip out in the "real world."

Gabrielle does surprisingly well with public restrooms. They don't usually scare her at all and she is able to have successful trips about 100% of the time. After dinner, Gabby told me she needed to go potty. We went to the women's restroom and got situated in our stall. As we are sitting there waiting for things to "flow," a loud, boisterous woman enters the stall next to us TALKING ON HER CELL PHONE. Okay, so I am not Miss Manners, but I can sure tell you that you do not talk on your cell phone in a public restroom. Gabby looks at me and says, "Dat wady is scaring me! What's she doin'?" I told her that the lady was just going potty too and that she needed to just sit and finish up. This is all going on as Gabby is attempting to lean over on the potty and see up under this woman's stall. I correct her and keep waiting for my daughter to finish up. Then we hear the loudest, longest farts you have ever heard from this woman's stall. I begin quietly cracking up in our stall. It wasn't just one, although the first one was pretty funny. I tried to contain myself at first for Gabby's sake, but then I just had to laugh. I was laughing so hard (quietly still) that I was practically crying. Just when you thought this lady was done, another one would come. Gabby starts smiling and giggling because I am laughing. I am squatting in front of her with my finger in front of my lips going, "Shhhh!" All the while, of course this woman is talking on her cell phone. I was thinking, "Holy crap! I hope you are talking to someone who doesn't mind hearing you rip a few over the phone!"

We finished up before Miss Farty Pants and were washing our hands when the lady came out of her stall and stood in line for the sink. Gabby starts crying and going, "Mommy hold me! I'm scared!" I'm so glad that she didn't say anything further about the "toots" as she calls them, but boy was it funny. I left the restroom laughing and Kenton looked at me like, "What was going on in there?"

Ahh...the joys of having toddlers and potty-training. Prior to our meal while waiting for our table, Gabby says to me loudly, "Mommy, dat wady has a baby in her belly!" I was like, "Um, no she doesn't and don't say that out loud anymore." Geez, kid. You're killing me, but not as badly as the food at Macaroni Grill was killing the lady in the stall next to us. Sorry, had to say it. See, even at almost 30, farts are still funny.